There is no danger….

Spring is here and that signifies new beginnings.
The blossoms are already in full bloom on our apricot tree.
The cherry trees are also budding with pink blooms.
There is no danger in a new beginning..unless the storm comes and freezes out the new chance at life.

Mirroring this new beginning is the awakening of wants in the spring.
We want to make new plans; meet new people; find new love.
Everyday brings us a chance to change ~ a chance to review what wasn’t working previously.
There is no danger in changing..unless change hurts others and doesn’t allow for forgiveness.

Hope springs eternal. I am hoping for a new beginning just like what comes each spring.
I’m hopeful for new friends that challenge my intellect; friends that push my limits; friends that are willing to look past the broken parts of me I’m still trying to fix to see the real me.
The me I long to give to another and to share eternally.
There is no danger in hoping for a positive future…no unless I’m willing to accept.

Hope
Spring
Love

There is no danger….in loving me.

Poem: The hair I hid behind

The hair I hid behind
by Jennifer Sanda

Every day I stood and let my mother
braid my hair, French or fishtail,
even a twist we invented while bored,
giving me a look, a signature,
unimaginatively names “the J braid.”

Every day I looked in the mirror
at my round face, with its apple cheeks
“like a cherub’s,” according to mom,
and I’d wonder how different I’d be
if I lost the fall of brown-black that hung
down my back past my butt.

Every day until I was fourteen —
the year my family fell apart,
the year I found my voice,
the year I knew about love
and loss — the weight bent my shoulders,
my head, gave me the unassuming
presence I thought I should be.

I picked up a copy of the 2014 Metaphor in December and read through the poetry and discovered this gem. I found several I really like, but this one struck a cord with me. Not because of the braids or the long hair, but with the changes one makes when they discover love – especially young love.

“When a man loves a woman,
really loves her …
it is not the moment of passion he remembers clearly.
It’s the moments of innocence.
The moments when we’re the most vulnerable.
When we say how we really feel.”

“Vindicate” by Jamie Magee

Robbed..by Love

Given a chance to find love, I will seek it out. But when I am robbed of the chance to fall in love by someone who doesn’t know what they want, I have no choice but to move on and feel cheated in some way.

I declare now – that I have been robbed

The man I am falling in love with withdrew any opportunity to find out just how far we could go and how wonderful it would be to hold him in my arms and feel him in my soul.

I declare now – that I will not let what he’s left me with – further jeopardize my future happiness

Emotions of Loss

Depths of despair
  Deep felt memories
Remembering those we love
  Relying on time to heal our wounds.

Sadness can engulf us
  Soul trying to accept
Loved one in a happier state
  Loss for us extremely great.

Pity for those left behind
  People try to understand
We deal the best we can
  When the time to say goodbye has come.

All around us people 
  Are going on as if the world is unchanged
Family is the key to life
  Forever in my heart you belong.

We’ve lost someone very important…someone we can’t replace in our lives. Tell those you love how much they mean to you today..and every chance you get. We didn’t get to say goodbye!

Time marches on..

There is something to be said for those who wait patiently for love to happen..
They aren’t standing idly by doing nothing, but often the opportunities are in someone else’s hands.
Meeting someone you find interesting or intriguing is only the first step. You must then pursue with interest
what it is you like most about them and see if it matches up with what you want in a relationship.
Often the person you are talking with is also talking to others..and you both are narrowing down the
playing field like checking off statistics to a favorite team.

When you find someone in particular that piques your curiosity – and a connection happens –
that in no wise means they feel the same thing.
You aim for a date; hoping that the two of you can connect.
If they live close, you take a chance on making it work;
If they live out of state or further away, you have to find a way to entice them to meet with you…
that the risk would be worth it. After all, time is marching on.

The beauty they see in your picture might be enough to spark the conversation;
but what will urge them to want more with you? What will insight them to action?
As time plays the number game with you both – pretty soon the days become weeks and then before you know it
a month or more has passed.
If you could choose him..would he choose you? What is it that says you both fit? And still, time continues…to march on.
You finally make your decision; there are more ways than one to get him interested.

However, it’s still his choice! Ball is in his court! You can’t make someone love you
or want to get to know you if they aren’t ready!
So, as time marches on – you must continue to be the type of woman he would want to be with – and hopefully
He will choose you when it counts. If he’s truly the one you’re meant to be with,
you want to be there when he chooses..You.

Spending time..

My favorite ways to spend time during the summer…

Reading a good book…
Listening to good music…
Talking with someone I love…
Kayaking across Causey Dam…
Falling in love…
Hiking mountain trails…
Running the streets of Ogden after dusk…
Enjoying a cool glass of ice water..
Writing an email to a close friend…
Riding the rides at Lagoon…
Camping…
wading in the Ogden River with my son and granddaughters…
wearing a swimming suit all day every day…
and…

Reading all night long in a sleeping bag with a flashlight and a paperback or on my Kindle!

Scammers of the Heart

I’ve been online trying to find love for over a year now.

What exactly does that mean?

It means that I’ve been trying to meet men through online websites by posting personal information and pictures in the hopes that I can meet, date, and fall in love. I know there are millions of men and women doing this, and I know many who have been successful at it.

My experience thus far has been a mixed chaotic one.

Today, I’ve again realized that there are men out there just trying to scam women ~ and I’m one of the latest victims.

This man was clever. He has been talking to me for over 9 weeks. He has been friendly, kind, loving, and attentive ~ well all of those things as much as he could be ~ in an online forum.

Fortunately for me, he is not the only man I’ve been talking with, but it’s clearly evident that I must have let my guard down too much for him to have kept me in conversation for so long. I’m extremely upset with myself! What was I thinking!!!!

My caution to all of you is to be aware of your conversations and what you share with someone you meet online and never get to meet in person. If you can’t work it out to meet and date in person, question everything!

This latest event is one of seven such scammers that I’ve encountered in the last 14 months. I will not do that anymore. I am saying now that I am not giving up on my chance to find love. I am still looking for the one man who will be my life’s companion and partner. However I am determined to watch for the signs very early and not get led down a path of conversation without some in person contact first.

I will be happy every day for the wary nature I have that leads me to uncover people like him that are only out to harm women by scamming them without any chance of love.

SOME MEN JUST SUCK!

I Wanna Know

This song has been around for a while (since 2008), but I just heard it for the first time this week. Very sensual song. Click above to watch the YouTube video.

Lyrics: (courtesy of azlyrics.com)
Yeah, oh yeah
Alright, oh, oh, oh

It’s amazing how you knock me off my feet, hmm
Everytime you come around me I get weak, oh yeah
Nobody ever made me feel this way, oh
You kiss my lips and then you take my breath away
So I wanna know

[1] – I wanna know what turns you on
So I can be all that and more
I’d like to know what makes you cry
So I can be the one who always makes you smile

Girl he never understood what you were worth, hmm no
And he never took the time to make it work
(You deserve more loving, girl)
Baby I’m the kind of man who shows concern, yes I do, oh
Anyway that I can please you let me learn
So I wanna know

[Repeat 1]

[2] – Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I’ll do
Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it’s true

[Repeat 2]

I wish that I could take a journey through your mind, alright
And find emotions that you always try to hide babe, oh
I do believe that there’s a love you wanna share, oh, oh
I’ll take good care of you lady, have no fear, oh
So I wanna know

[Repeat 1]

[Repeat 2 (2x)]

[Repeat 1 till end]

Strength

There are times when we are strong and feel weak. That weakness humbles us and gives us the power to see more clearly. Love can do the same for us. The power of love can humble us to see our own weaknesses and yet to feel strong because someone truly loves us no matter what.

I’m seeking love and hoping to see my weaknesses strengthen my resolve. When I’ve found love and it’s claimed me, the two of us will be strong indeed!